You know it's just your foolish pride.

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 19:09:23 GMT

Hello f-list~

I apologize a million times for pretty much falling off the face of the earth. D:

A few months back I decided to take a break from fandom to get my RL in order, and it was harder getting back in than expected. (^^;) And as hard as it is to admit, I think I've lost pretty much all interest in TeniPuri and its fandoms. ):

So when I figured that part out, I decided to make a new journal, sandboxskyline, to archive my writing in a more organized fashion, plus be able to blog easily without feeling like I was spamming people. Then at some point after I made the new journal, my friend got me into a new fandom (unintentionally), and that's currently my main focus. :D

You're welcome to add my new journal if you have any interest in staying friends, although I can guarantee that I will probably not write any more TeniPuri fan fiction or talk about it all, really. At the moment, everything at that journal has to do with the KPop boy band Super Junior (don't judge. :P You have to be part of the fandom. XD), so I'd understand if you're not interested.

All right, that's just an update so that everyone knows now, and so I feel a little less like a jerk.

♥Annie

miss me?(:

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:34:35 GMT

I'm sorry for going missing randomly. D: It was kind of a break I made myself take because, um, real life kind of sucks. >__<
But! I feel so much better now, and I regret leaving because I'm so out of it now. )))):

Catch me up? :D I'd love if anyone dropped a message or something telling me what I've missed even if I don't deserve it. ^^

Also, new journal~ sandboxskyline
It's more organized(:

I don't return empty-handed! :D

Title: Blind
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Rating: G
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Remus loves Sirius, but in his dreams he has someone else to love.

Sometimes, in the undefined gray area between night and morning, Remus Lupin lays in bed, feels the heat of Sirius's arm across his stomach and Sirius's warm breath on his neck, and he sees.

He sees past the patched, leaking ceiling, and leaves behind the flat with walls so thin, they can hear the couple next door's screaming matches with startling clarity.

There's a boy, and he's so thin and looks so fragile, but he's beautiful and bright and alive. He has hair the color of the sun and eyes the most perfect cross between silver and blue (not like the moon, never that cursed, sinister shape that haunts him): the color of the night sky reflected in the most radiant pair of eyes that just glow when they're on him, on Remus, and he feels so lucky, he thinks he could die of happiness.

(But then if he died he'd never see Sirius, and he thinks that even if once a month he tears himself apart and wants to lay down and never open his eyes again, he'll do it a thousand times over for those eyes.)

Once Sirius asked him what he looked at when he thought Sirius was asleep, and he'd smiled and told him,

“I see our son.”

(He's never been able to hide anything from those sharp eyes.)

He doesn't have a name, but he visits the Potters every Sunday. Lily and James welcome the three of them with beaming faces, and he and Harry run and play, scuffle lightheartedly as boys do, with four pairs of content, fond eyes on them.

He reads on the sofa when he's at home, nose stuck in the yellowing pages of a dusty book so heavy he has to lay it on his lap and lean over to read it. Engrossed in the story, he never notices Sirius's amused gaze while Remus muses that he'll need glasses one day.

(And he'll never know how lucky he is to have such caring, loving eyes on him.)

When Remus is bored and he's read all the books in the house until the covers have been taped over and back together too many times to count, he presses quill to parchment and writes.

He writes what he sees,

(and he sees so much)

the son he's never had with Sirius, the one he's loved in his dreams and at night when no one else can see. When he's writing, he's still imagining, scraped knees he's never had because his mother (sweet and worried, she loved him, but somehow it was oppressive and in all the wrong ways) never let him outdoors,

(the overwhelming grief in those eyes had been too much for a little boy)

innocence he's never felt because of the monster that lurks in places other than under his bed

(fear tainting the corners of his vision until he saw it everywhere, even in the faces of those who loved him most).

He's the sweetest boy in the world, and Remus thinks it can't be any other way, when he's Sirius's son, and Sirius is kinder than anyone Remus has ever met, even James. And Remus knows he won't ever let anyone hurt this smiling, gentle angel of his, because he doesn't think he can bear to see silver scars on such pale, perfect skin

(scars he knows well, too well, glaring and harsh in his eyes).

Remus will never be anywhere but home. He knows how it feels, waking up cold and alone. He wants to be there, downstairs and cooking, in his room, laughing with Sirius. He wants those precious eyes to open in the morning and the first thing he feels it wrapped around him, love's warm embrace. He wants them to be able to look at Remus and know that Remus would never leave him, not for a second. He doesn't want that flash of doubt to ever cross those eyes.

The world will revolve around him, the turn of the clock entirely dependent on his whim. Remus wants him to have everything, because having nothing is a feeling too familiar, too painful. He'll never be tainted like Remus is, he'll be pure and bright and beautiful.

(The sun will rise and set to those eyes, and if there's ever a tear in them, it feels like the heavens themselves will collapse.)

It doesn't feel as strange as it should, loving someone who doesn't exist, who can never exist. Sirius grins and makes a few jokes, but he lets it be, labels it another one of Remus's quirks, like the way he always has at least a little chocolate a day, and how when he opens an old book, the first thing he does is close his eyes and inhale the deep history hidden behind worn pages.

He doesn't understand, but he doesn't have to. Because Sirius in Remus's fantasies loves their son and Remus so much, it's overwhelming. Remus loves Sirius, and Remus loves their son. Sirius loves Remus, but he doesn't love their son, but that's okay. Remus loves them both enough.

He loves Sirius and his smirk, Sirius and his eyes that sparkle with mischief. Sirius and his love, all his, no one else's, and he holds it close to his chest, selfishly, because if he doesn't hold onto it tight enough, it might run away, along with Sirius, and he doesn't think he can bear that.

He wants Sirius to hold him and kiss him and love him

(so much love in those eyes that stare so deeply),

whisper his name over and over, and over again. He doesn't want anyone else's name on those lips, brands that gorgeous body with his lips, undeserving lips, but Sirius kisses them and it's suddenly okay.

Remus and Sirius will never have a son, never hold him and love him together. But Remus thinks he can live without that, because when he dreams, he dreams of their family, three pairs of eyes that don't look at anything but each other.

They smile at each other and laugh with each other and love one another, and Remus thinks that there isn't anyone in the world who can be any happier than him.

HEYHEYHEY.

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 00:44:36 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY vierblith_tefu!♥♥

You cannot escape the sparkly layout-killer of doom. >D

You know what?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:24:13 GMT

I love the end of daylight savings time.
*snuggles under covers*

LOL LOOK. 8D

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 14:44:17 GMT

THE SLOGANIZER.

"When You've Got Mao-chan, Flaunt It."
"Moms Like You Choose Masa."
"Baba: the Other White Meat."

...
XDDD

*too early to be fully functional* :P

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:00:23 GMT

I just formatted my external HD.
Seeing it completely blank kind of kills me inside. ;_________;

So apparently,

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 21:40:24 GMT

Prince of Tennis is going to have a sequel? :D
And that the volumes already out were just a prologue?
XDDDDDDDDD;;
That's funny.

But I'm actually kind of excited. :D
Okay, I'm really excited. :3
Because I know that there were, like, THREE HUNDRED SEVENTY NINE chapters. And Tezuka and Fuji were pretty much married by the end. But still!
Although I might just be saying that because everyone else is moving on and I DON'T WANT TO. TT^TT

...
:P

EDIT. BIG EDIT: A link!
Provided by hirothepenguin, who didn't do it for me, merely posted it because it was very WTF-age material, but still!
:3

lakjwel;rkjawlek

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:40:50 GMT

Keysmash subjects are so useful when you're too lazy to think of a real one.

...
The Jonas Brothers' "Burnin' Up" song is disturbingly addictive. >_________> :LWKEJR W:LKJER:LKWJELRKJWLEKJR NOOOOOOOOOO I AM A TYPICAL AMERICAN TEEN AFTER ALL. TT_______________TT

Concert today. I have yet to play the song perfectly.
I am screwed. ;__;

I am reading so much RemusxSirius lately. XD Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I have this weird thing where if I get too into fandom, I start to ignore canon. And when HBP comes out, I bet I will be so confused. And then heartbroken. And then I'll start crying.
I am a dork. 8D♥

Note the birth of the new "r/s" tag! XD

...

I wish I had posts with more substance. D: It makes me feel less spam-y when I post about things people care about. ):

flail

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:20:00 GMT

HBP TRAILER♥
Because I'm that late. XD;;

0:50;;Wait, wut? o_________O I haven't read the books in forever. When did this happen...?
It looks like Fleur.
Oh, is it Lavender?
*confused*
Or Hermione?
But she's too blond....

1:02;; Someone tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me it looks like that lady from Sweeney Todd. Please. T___T

1:19;; LOL. I love Hermione♥ And Harry snark. And Hermione hitting him on the head. Just...lol. XD

TOO FAR AWAYYYYYYYY~ MOVIE COME OUT NOW KTHX.

Hopefully it will be better than OotP, y/y? :D

...

Randomly, Emma Watson is gorgeous♥ *stares at ad next to trailer*

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:45:48 GMT

I should get internet on my phone so I can post entries while I'm out.
And then I can spam you all, like Tomo. >D
But I'm too ~~poor~~ nice. 0:3

This is still spam, though. :P

See, this is what happens when I attempt to write fic.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 00:59:58 GMT

The Vampire!AU is hurting my brain more than it has any right to.
DDDD:
I was never meant to write AUs. -___________________________-
But they're so fun to write! ):

Meme stolen from juudenkanryou~

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 03:07:27 GMT

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Musician
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Social Nerd
Drama Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:49:30 GMT

1. Make an LJ-cut post with "DO NOT READ" as the text.
2. Do not select a 'mood' for this post.
3. If anyone clicks the cut, they are to comment and admit to doing so.
4. Anyone who reads this also has to do the same in THEIR journal, thus continuing the neverending madness.

...You know you did it. XD

I'm a bad person. XD;;

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:46:19 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAGYUUUUUUUU~♥♥!!

I will write Prompt 35 and dedicate it to you, promise~♥

Can you...

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 04:06:06 GMT

Use LJ Talk on Trillian? D:
And why won't my MSN account connect?
*WOE*

This is not the post that I couldn't remember about.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 02:34:25 GMT

Because I didn't know about it until just now.
BUT.
It is so much more important.

Let me flail about the complete and utter win that is inarikami.
She is awesome.
♥
She totally granted my wish of having the romaji lyrics of "Boku ga Iru" AND she translated them.
♥♥!

YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND LOVELY AND SWEET AND I JUST LOVE YOU♥

That is all.

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:43:16 GMT

Randomly, I decided that, after weeks of telling myself to do it, cleaning my room at 11 P.M. was the best time to do it. Just a little vacuuming couldn't hurt, yeah?
And then I stayed up past 1 to make sure it was completely spotless.
Oh yes. This is my life. XD;;

The full-fledged line!Post. :D

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:35:57 GMT

For lyuna's ShiraYuki fic. :3

His tennis is flawless, he is flawless and there is no way he will not win.
I liked this line; am not much of a Shitenhouji fan, but this makes me love Shiraishi♥

He is their pillar, their source of strength, someone they can believe in. Even when is in hospital they keep believing in him, because he is strong, because they have to win, for him.
That...made me think of Tezuka. XD;; But ♥ so much love for Rikkai and dedication and family~♥

Because he is their strength, because they believe in him, because they call him ‘The Child of God’.
Which describes so well how his team views him.

But when they finally meet it is only natural to them being drawn to each other.
Interesting, because I'd never thought of ShiraYuki. Hm...

It is like a joining of old lovers, because ‘The Child of God’ has finally found his way to ‘The Bible”.
And a;wlekjra;lwkejrlakjelkj THAT WAS PERFECT. How did I not see that before? That's a good way to phrase it. :3

Meme. :3

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 03:47:22 GMT

Because obviously I haven't spammed enough today. :Db

You ever write a fanfic where you think certain lines are just fantastic, but nobody seems to have noticed or commented on them? Comment on this thread with a link to your fanfic, and I'll give you a full-fledged line!post with at least 5 of my favorite lines from that fic.

Stolen from eriea.

So, um...

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 02:03:15 GMT

There wouldn't happen to be any lyrics of Masa's "Boku ga Iru" lying around...would there? >__>
I don't even care if it's a translation; I haven't been able to find the romaji anywhere either.
D:

~~Yes, I'm spamming because I promised not to emo!post.~~

I just went on a joining spree.

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:41:20 GMT

Adding RLxSB comms like crazy. XD;;
The sad thing is, a lot of them are dead. D:
Especially the exchange and claiming ones.
)))))):
FANDOM IS DYING, PEOPLE.
This is seriously making me worry about TeniPuri. I mean, the manga is over. The anime is close to over or already over, I think? (I'm a bad, bad fangirl. *hits self* I need to get caught up. D:) The myus will be over soon (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TT^TT). Apparently there will be a new project coming up, which will hopefully keep it alive. :D? And I heard a rumor (oh dear God, I just typed "roomer" XDDDD) that there was going to be TeniPuri 2?!

But still. It will die eventually, and I will be incredibly sad when it happens. I've only been a fangirl for, hm, one or two years - I can't remember which summer it was. But the point is: TENIPURI PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME. D:

...I want a NANA exchange comm. D:

Meme! :D

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:53:13 GMT

That I totally put off doing until now. :P
Seen everywhere on my f-list.

Total comments: 545

1	crypticmadness	259
2	scubascissors	53
3	crysaliz	40
4	lyuna	36
5	ketchupblood	19
6	vierblith_tefu	18
7	doumyoujitsukas	13
8	eriea	12
9	hirothepenguin	11
10	xmeganmania	11
11	ellipsesbandit	10
12	alle_goriest	7
13	a1y_puff	7
14	peachy_milktea	6
15	doingfirst	6
16	star_in_my_soup	5
17	hibimaosuki	5
18	spottedtail	4
19	kaidouhazuki	3
20	lafuego	3
21	koori_no_sakura	3
22	dtn	2
23	pinkeraserdust	2
24	measuringlife	2
25	lovefujitez	1
26	nudge	1
27	yuki_scorpio	1
28	speadee	1
29	invidia92	1
30	giving_ground	1
31	neooldetokyo	1
32	applentoast	1

Generated by LJ Comment Stats.

ARE YOU SERIOUS.

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:08:34 GMT

HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO LOSE MY SIDEBAR TEXT.
DDDDDD:

Meme.

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 01:19:49 GMT

10 things to ten different people:

1. I think we both need to stop being so incredibly selfish.

2. I wish I were never your friend, but then I'd be missing a huge chunk of my life; so maybe I just wish things were more lighthearted.

3. I love you so much, and it scares me so bad. And by the way, you're ruining my life just by breathing. Oh, and that one compliment you gave me that probably meant nothing to you? That made my day so much brighter.

4. I wish you didn't like me, and the fact that I'm scared of you never talking to me again just proves that something's wrong here.

5. I miss you so much. Somehow, I think I'd love you all over again if things weren't the way they are now. But I don't know if it's just loneliness talking. I miss being as close as we were.

6. I wish you'd talk to me more. I want to be your friend, but somehow, you're even closer to a person you've met once (that I introduced you to) than me.

7. Maybe if you'd made life just a little easier for me, maybe if you'd given me a home to look forward to going back to, I wouldn't be so fucking screwed up.

8. Seriously, what happened to us? Weren't we best friends some time ago? I have no idea, and I wish I knew what I've done.

9. If you'd write me fic, I think I'd become your best friend. And plus, I'd positively glow for the rest of the year.

10. I use you. Sorry. I know it's the last thing you need, but at least I'm not saying it to your face.

9 things about yourself:

1. I'm a bitch, and yeah I care, but I'll pretend not to so that people don't hurt me more than they are.

2. I think I'm turning bisexual.

3. If I could run away, I would. So I'm trying my hardest.

4. I wish I were skinnier and smaller and more likable, but then I wouldn't be me, which is weird and somehow messed up, but true.

5. I wish I didn't need people in my life, but I do.

6. I change the channel when people are humiliated on TV, because I'm embarrassed for them, and I don't want to cry for them, because then I'd feel like such a dork.

7. I wish I wrote so much better, but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

8. I wish there was something more wrong with me than just a severely screwed up mind, just so I'd be more interesting.

9. I really, really, really want to get into Webb.

8 ways to win your heart:

1. Listen when I rant; have something to say afterwards that doesn't make me hate you.
2. Be sweet to me.
3. Talk about my pairings and don't laugh.
4. Stereotypical romance.
5. Compliment me.
6. Be able to tell when I want to jump off a cliff.
7. Don't laugh at my obsessions.
8. Understand that fandom is a huge part of my life, and that, yes, I would give up spending time with you for Kiva.

7 things that cross your mind a lot:

1. James.
2. All the flaws of everyone.
3. Conversations that have never and will never happen.
4. Growing up.
5. I bet I just ate everything I just lost.
6. Don't cry.
7. He likes her better.

6 things you do before you go to sleep:

1. LJ.
2. Panic over homework.
3. Shower.
4. Tell myself how much better tomorrow will be.
5. See if I can make it without breaking down.
6. Pity myself like the selfish brat I am.

5 people who mean a lot:

1. Megan.
2. Julia.
3. James.
4. Dad (or, you know, his approval. Which is the same thing.)
5. Mom.

4 things you're wearing right now:

1. Fifth grade school shirt.
2. Basketball shorts.
3. Bright red underwear.
4. Makeup.

3 songs you listen to often:

1. "Layla," Eric Clapton
2. "Running Free," Coheed and Cambria
3. "Feathers," Coheed and Cambria

2 things you want to do before you die:

1. Publish a book.
2. Be able to say that I'm happy and mean it.

1 confession: I'm not nice the way I try to be. In fact, I don't even think I can fake it. I'm sarcastic, cynical, cold, bitchy, heartless, selfish. And despite all that, I still expect people to love me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that everyone will figure out how horrible I am and just leave me, but I'm still trying to hold on. Because even though I try not to, I need people in my life. Reassurance. Safety. Company. And I'm so scared that I won't make it.

The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test
Category	Your Score	Average LJer
Community Attachment	24.73% You've got pals to cheer you up when you're down, but no audience to applaud you... Yet.	22.88%
MemeSheepage	19.3% Only trendy when it's sufficiently entertaining	27.62%
Original Content	50% Using LiveJournal to express a few strong opinions	38.1%
Psychodrama Quotient	32.53% Would it kill you to smile? CHEER UP!	16.62%
Attention Whoring	38.64% This quiz is part of a grand scheme to keep people reading	20.68%
Take The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

8D Oh, I am such a geek. :P

Just got back from the maaaaaaall~

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 01:49:13 GMT

And I am so tired, but I feel better than I did. (:
I bought a Jack Skellington wristband thing. And a Sweeney Todd T-shirt. :D Yay for stuff♥
I remember when I was so incredibly obsessed with those movies. XD